More Cruel than the Most Cruel Bully

 I try to close my eyes, pretend that I cannot see what the people around you are doing to you. Pretend that you were not looking at me with those watery, pleading eyes. Pretend that it was none of my business and that I was much too busy for you. I just stood where I was out of everyone else's sight. Though I knew you could see me from where you lay on the floor, an eye bruised and rib broken, I stood there. Too afraid to move a limb, to pick you up, stand up for you...too afraid to even run.
 I just waited for the violence to end for the day before hurrying to bring you to the nurse's office when no other student was looking.
 You never spoke to me when I brought you there, I did not expect you to. Reflected in your bruised eye was the person who beat you up until you were almost unable to walk.
 But in the other eye was the person who let it all happen...the most cruel person at the scene.
 It was me.
 It was no shocker, just a little discouraging, that's all. We never hung out anymore, we never could. You were getting followed more often now, beaten and bruised. I was always there, watching in terror as fate seemed to always bring me to you. I knew that the heavens or just somebody up there was telling me to help you but...I never heeded that plead. I just looked in your direction from the shadows, trying to think of something and someone else just to comfort myself from the criticising in my head.
 As usual, I waited until no one was looking before studying your wounds and calling for an ambulance. I knew you did not want my help but I also knew no one else was around to save you. I was your only hope in those moments...so you did not protest. Little did we know that those were your last moments.
 As I sat in the waiting room, I watched as a nurse approached me sorrowfully with she bowed her head low, telling me that you were gone. I was shocked but I never showed it. I did not have the heart to show any sorrow. Instead, I stood and headed for the exit, ignoring the nurse's concerned words for me and you. She called us 'friends' but we both knew that was not true. I was just your greatest enemy that kept you only barely alive until now, allowing you to suffer your days in this world that did not love either of us.
 So now, like every other time, I close an eye and wait for the bully to do its worst to you. Only this time, I was able to walk away.